If you and your significant other have been together a while, your sex life may have gotten routine. That spark and spontaneous passion just isn’t there like it used to be. It takes a little more work. Career women and full-time moms especially find it hard to think about sex when they’re stressed and busy 24 hours a day. Here are 10 things you can start doing tonight to spice things up in the bedroom and put the heat back into your relationship!

1.     Date

The best way to spice things up in bed is to start outside the bedroom. This means making time to get out on dates and re-connect with each other. Doing this gives you a chance to dress up, do your hair and make-up, and feel like a sexy woman again. Go to dinner, a movie, or just a coffee shop to hang out and flirt. You may think you just don’t have the money to go on dates with your significant other, but dating on a budget it possible if you know how to do it!

2.     Dress

No modern woman has the time to spend hours in front of the mirror and sometimes, sweats and a T-shirt are so much more appealing while you’re juggling kids and career. However, it’s important not to give in to the temptation to just “let yourself go”. Even on laundry day, you can still slip on a sexy pair of red lacy panties under your jogging pants and give him a sneak preview when he’s not expecting it!

Speaking of lingerie, even if you’re not the Victoria’s Secret type, buying a thong or a push-up bra to wear under your usual long pajama T-shirt can go a long way in bringing back the heat. Get under the covers in your usual and casually take it off, revealing what’s underneath. He’ll get the message and be flattered that you’re wearing it just for him!

3.     Sext

Did you know you can text message your way to better sex? You may have never heard of sexting or thought maybe it was some strange thing teenagers do but sexting (sending suggestive or dirty text messages to your significant other) can go a long way in improving your sex life. You don’t have to talk dirty to get your point across. Just send him a text message during the day and tell him what you’re wearing underneath that business suit or that you can’t wait to get home and get into bed with him. Sexting encourages flirting and “the mating dance” that long-term couples can sometimes forget.

4.     Role-Play

One of the 10 most common sexual fetishes people have is role-playing. When you’ve been together a long time, it’s easy to know someone and be comfortable with them. The drawback to that is your sex life can get a bit dull. To avoid this, turn to role-playing. Talk to your significant other about your sexual fantasies. Find out what he fantasizes about. If he tells you he’s always wanted to get with a naughty nurse or a schoolgirl, surprise him by dressing up and taking on the role.

Another way to use role-playing in your relationship is to go out in separate vehicles to the same club or bar. Approach him as though you’re just meeting for the first time, go home, and have a “one-night stand” with him. There’s nothing like a little mystery and intrigue to keep things fresh!

5.     Change Locations

Sometimes the best way to spice things up in bed is to move things out of the bedroom. Get in the shower and tease each other or go for a quickie on the living room armchair. As long as the blinds are drawn, the doors are locked, and the kids are away, there’s no need to be bashful!

6.     Write it Down

Not every woman is vocal about what she fantasizes about in bed. This is why writing out your desires and slipping it under his pillow may be your key to sexual fulfillment. Think about what you’ve always wanted him to do to you and write it out. Your biggest sexual organ is your brain and when you stimulate his brain with your secret fantasies, it’s sure to take the routine out of your love life.

7.     Rent an Adult Flick

Sex begins with visual stimulation, making the adult movie industry enormously popular. If you think only lonely, socially-awkward men watch pornography in secret in their parent’s basement, think again. Many happily-married couples watch adult movies together to enhance their sex lives. If you’re a first-timer, rent a soft core pornographic film or a sexual instructional video you can watch together. This way, you won’t be overwhelmed or embarrassed by graphic sexual images you weren’t prepared for.

8.     Add Some Sex Toys

When it comes to sex toys, there’s plenty out there for the woman who wants to spice things up in the bedroom. Small vibrators are a great way for women to enjoy clitoral stimulation during sexual intercourse. Dildos can enhance foreplay or be a temporary substitute in cases of erectile dysfunction. Feathered teasers and ticklers stimulate the skin in erotic ways while handcuffs and whips show the submissive who’s boss for the night. Whatever your pleasure, adult toys can be your ticket to better sex!

9.     Take it Off

Men don’t go to strip clubs for beer and great music. They go to see scantily-clad women tease and torment them with their beautiful bodies. There’s something incredibly seductive about seeing something you can’t have just so close. If you’re looking to really spice things up in the bedroom, try taking it off.

This doesn’t mean you have to go out and buy a pole. Start slowly. If you have a bathroom in your bedroom, “accidentally” leave it open while he’s in bed watching TV and strip off your clothes and slowly and seductively as possible. If that doesn’t get his attention, come out of the bathroom in nothing but a towel and let it slip off. Bend over slowly to pick it up.

10.    Try Some Pheromones

Pheromone colognes are another easy way to have better sex with your significant other. Pheromones are naturally-occurring compounds that your body gives off to attract a mate. These days, excessive showering and use of skin creams, scented hair spray, and body lotions have human beings smelling more like chemical factories than people. Get back to basics with pheromone colognes for women. They can give you just the edge and confidence you need to really turn his head and keep him interested.

Add some to your favorite perfume and add just a little dab to your pulse points. This can really enhance date night, role-playing or sex-toy shopping. He won’t know what it is about you that’s got him so worked up all of a sudden but you’ll know the secret and you’ll have the power to make him feel more attracted to you whenever you want!

Just because things haven’t been the same in the bedroom lately, doesn’t mean the magic is gone. Romantic relationships go through natural lulls. He still loves and wants you. He just may need to be reminded of how much you still want and need him. Try one of these techniques tonight and kiss that bedroom boredom goodbye!

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