A Man's Guide to Online Dating

Written by Dave Rich

On December 18, 2012

Online dating can be tricky but with the right dating tips, it can actually be a lot of fun. No matter which website you decide to join, the rules are always the same. If you follow this online dating guide, you may be more successful at computer dating then you’ve been so far.
Pros and Cons of Internet Dating
One of the major pros of Internet dating is it caters to your busy schedule. You can browse through dozens of potential mates in the comfort of your own home with just the click of a mouse. Unfortunately, this is also one of the cons of online dating. With this many people to choose from, it can be difficult not to get overwhelmed.
Also, if you’re a shy man, you might find computer dating the perfect way to dip a toe in the water. Not every man has the confidence to just walk up to any woman and approach her at a bar or club. With online dating, you know each of the women you’re looking at is single and interested in dating.
However, men who do struggle with shyness or lack confidence may see Internet dating as their only option, which may only pull them further into their shell. This is especially true of men who never meet the women they’re interested in but continue to become involved in online relationships.
The Best Approach to Computer Dating
The best approach a man can take to computer dating is to treat it like regular dating. Meaning your intro, your profile, your photos, and your approach should closely match the way you would like to present yourself in person.

  • Your Intro

“Single and New to the Area” Chances are, if you’re on a dating site, you’re single and many guys are going to say they’re “new to the area”. A dating profile is your romantic resume so you want to make it stand apart from the crowd.
When formulating your intro, think about the type of woman you’re trying to attract. Are you an avid outdoorsman? Your intro could be, “Want to go for a hike?” This goes one step further than “Looking for a Hiking Companion” because it makes an open invitation to the type of woman you’re looking to date. If you’re an avid foodie try, “Let’s Meet for Lunch!” Again, this is an open invitation that will prompt her to click on your profile to learn more.

  • Your Profile

When creating your dating profile, less is more. Be truthful, confident, and sincere but be careful not to sound too self-assured. A little self-deprecating humor can go a long way in enticing a woman into sending you a message. You don’t want to sound too perfect or she’ll think you’re too good to be true.
First, introduce yourself. This is how it would go in any face-to-face conversation so this approach is best. You can mention what you do for a living, what your hobbies are, the type of food you like to eat, and the television shows you watch. Also, aim to tell a story. Briefly mention a life lesson you’ve learned or a funny or embarrassing thing that’s happened to you. Believe it or not, it will endear her to you!
Close with the type of woman you’re looking for. Try not to be too specific about body type or personality though as this will turn a lot of women off. However, if there are deal-breakers, be sure to work them in. For example, if you don’t want to date a woman with a temper, use “laid-back” in your description of the right girl. If your preferences is for women more on the thin side, don’t write “no fat chicks”. Instead, use the term “athletic” or “health-conscious”.
Also, ask questions. A question at the end of your profile greatly increases your chance of getting a response. Woman browsing through dating profiles may be interested but not quite sure where to begin or what to talk about. A question gives her a reason to send you a message with an answer!

  • Your Photos

This is a big one. Your main profile picture should be an updated headshot no more than 3 years old. Don’t wear sunglasses or a baseball cap in your photo because it sends the impression you have something to hide. Also, wear a smile. If you don’t want that “frozen grin” expression, try to laugh or think of something funny when taking the photo so your smile appears genuine.
The next couple of photos should tell a story about you. If your profile says you like to fish, put up a photo of you fishing. If you enjoy a good game of tennis, include a shot of yourself on the court.
Aim for no more than 5 photos. Anything more than that may send out the message you’re vain or stuck on yourself.

  • Your Approach

The best approach is always a specific one. “Hey, you’re hot” isn’t going to do it. She’s heard that before…hundreds of times. Instead, when you write your first message, be specific. Look through her profile and photos for a conversation starter.
Ask her about her interests or give her a specific compliment about her green eyes or her attractive smile. Then keep the message brief and light and end with a question. This way, she’ll be more likely to respond.
Also, just because you don’t get a response doesn’t mean you’re being rejected. When it comes to online dating, it’s a numbers game. The more emails you send out, the more likely you are to get a response.
Common Online Dating Mistakes Men Make

  1. Being Dishonest

This is such a common mistake but it shouldn’t be. If you want to attract the right woman for you, don’t lie on your profile. A profile that brags you make six figures and have a summer home in theBahamasis going to attract the wrong type of woman for you. So, unless you really are rolling in it, don’t act like you are.
The same goes for your interests. Don’t write that you’re the adventurous, outgoing type when you’re really a homebody. You’re not going to enjoy being in a relationship with a social butterfly anyway so why attract her into your life?

  1. Revealing Too Much

When it comes to profiles and emails, keep them short and simple. Revealing too much about yourself can send a message that you’re desperate, over-emotional or stuck on yourself.

  1. Waiting too Long to Meet

The longer you wait to meet someone you’ve met online, the less likely it will be that you do. After a couple of emails, suggest you meet for coffee or lunch. Nothing fancy. Don’t pressure her though. If you’re too pushy, you might scare her away.

  1. Not Playing it Safe

Just because you’re a man doesn’t mean you’re automatically safe. Have you ever seen the movie, “Play Misty for Me” or “Fatal Attraction”? There are plenty of women out there who have a few serious mental issues.
Always plan to meet in a well-lit, well-populated area for your first date. And have an exit strategy. Invent an appointment you have to keep later in the day just in case things don’t go as you planned.
No matter which online dating guide you read on the Internet, they’re all bound to say pretty much the same thing: Be honest, be yourself, and get out there and mingle. The woman of your dreams may just be a mouse click away!

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