When it comes to attracting the opposite sex, it seems like men have it much easier than women, especially when it comes down to physical appearance and sex appeal. Seeing an overweight or unattractive man with an attractive woman by societal standards is much more commonplace than the other way around, but this doesn’t mean that it never happens. One reason for this difference in dynamic has to do with love and attraction being more about appearances and what a man can see and touch, whereas women tend to rely on mental and emotional compatibility. Another reason is that women tend to be more self-conscious about their appearances while men don’t have to worry about shunning the standards of society when it comes to aesthetics if they put on a few extra pounds. As a woman, you can deal with this by taking control of your destiny and working with the shape that you do have with confidence; in other words, shake what your mama gave you!
Use Your Eyes
Body language and speaking without words all starts with the eyes, which means that you have to meet a man’s eyes before you’ll really get his attention. This doesn’t mean that you should stare somebody down or watch them awkwardly from across a crowded room, but flashing a demure smile and batting your lashes will work almost every time. You want to let him know that you’re interested without seeming too eager; the key is to make eye contact, look away as though you don’t really care whether he noticed you or not, but then look back with a knowing smile. All Women Stalk suggests:
“First of all, let him notice that you’re looking at him and don’t look the other way when your eyes meet. Let that visual bond last a few seconds than smile, look away for a second then look at him again.”
This tactic might not work in every situation, but it’s a great way to start off, especially if you haven’t broken the ice yet or you want to see who’s interested. Of course, some men will be taken, are busy, or might not notice your first glimpse, but the majority of men, like women, enjoy being noticed and will be flattered at the stolen glimpses from across the room. From here you can either initiate conversation by walking over and introducing yourself, or wait to see if he has the guts to do it himself. Remember not to seem desperate; you’re worth the effort, and there are plenty of fish in the sea.
Arch Your Back
This is where you’ve got to be careful because where some women understand that arching your back is a subtle motion, others go too far. You don’t want to walk around looking like a duck. Rolling your shoulders back gently so that your chest sits where it’s supposed to be and all of your curves are in the right place will send a signal to any hot blooded male that you’re looking for a mate; it’s genetic. Christian Anderson of Let’s Talk Dating Online advises:
“Arching your back reflects lordosis behavior (basically sticking your butt out) which almost every female mammal exhibits during estrus.”
Estrus behavior is what mammals do when they’re in heat; it might not sound glamorous, but it’s a fact of nature. You’ve probably seen it in cats or dogs, raising their hind quarters to show the male that they’re ready to procreate. Of course, you’re not going to go around with your bottom in the air, but a very subtle arch of the back will send the same subconscious signals to the opposite sex, which will ultimately work in your favor.
Lick Your Lip
Don’t get sloppy or make yourself appear as though you’ve just won a rib eating contest, but a gentle flick of the tongue over the lower lip brings the attention to your mouth. Another way to achieve this result without the worry of too much tongue is by biting your lip. Again, a little goes a long way when lip actions are involved, so don’t over exaggerate anything or you’ll wind up attracting the wrong sort of attention.
Of course, being relaxed around a potential partner is far better than coming off as somebody who’s uptight and no fun, but you’ve also got to seem physically relaxed as well. If you’re holding yourself in a position that seems stiff or forced then you’ll scare off potential mates, whereas softened features and smooth lines are much more feminine. Rori Ray of Havetherelationshipyouwant.com says:
“If you’re holding a glass or a fork, notice how tightly you’re gripping and allow your hands to soften. This small change will make you feel soft, feminine and calmer”
This doesn’t mean that you can’t be yourself and portray a strong independent woman while seeking a mate, but sometimes a man likes to feel like he’s wanted, and nothing makes a man feel more masculine than a woman who displays a lot of natural feminine charm.
Finally, you’re definitely not going to get anywhere with a man if he can’t physically get to you. You’ve got be physically available and open to him so that he can come and talk to you; this works on your own or in a group. If you’re standing in a large circle of women, no man is going to want to breach that group to get to you no matter how confident he is. Gettheguy.co.uk states:
“Instead you should be standing side by side in more of a V-shape so that you’ve still got each other’s full attention, but so that a guy can approach you.”
By creating an opening you make it easier for somebody to come in and chat with you individually, rather than needing to cause a scene in an effort to get close. You might think that men have it easy when it comes to flirting and that most of them are stacked with confidence, but even the most self-assured male will be intimidated at the thought of a large group of judgmental women.