Attracting women isn’t an exact science, it’s an art. One approach might work on one woman but will be ineffective with another. The art is in knowing the difference. You might wonder why some guys who aren’t exactly built like Adonis are able to date women you would think were out of their league. These are the men who know that difference. So if you want to learn how to attract women, here are a few things you need to keep in mind.

Know What Manliness Means and Exude It

One thing you may or may not already know yet is that woman can spot a poser from a mile away. If there is the least bit of uncertainty in the persona you have created to approach her, you’ll just be quickly shot down. It’s like the difference between someone who knows how to play a guitar and someone who is a true musician and artist with their guitar. It doesn’t take long to spot who gets it and who doesn’t. According to David DeAngelo of AskMen.com:

“This is why it’s so important to work on yourself, your self-image and your “Inner Game” until you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you’re a real man. When you do, you’ll attract women fast and naturally.”

Avoid Needy Behavior

Don’t go out with the attitude that you want to get laid, even if it is indeed your goal. Certainly, most people today are liberated enough for that sort of thing to be socially-acceptable, or at least, tolerated. However, there is so much more to meeting women than getting laid. DeAngelo also says:

“Well, many of the guys I’ve met who are GREAT at “getting laid” don’t have any idea how to find a high-quality woman to have a great relationship with and when they do find one, they have no idea how to keep her around. I think it’s much more interesting and useful to learn how and why women become attracted to men, and why they STAY attracted. This way, you’ll be able to keep that fantastic woman in your life once you find her.”

Sparking Attraction

Going out with the proper mindset is important, but the most critical part of attracting women is in the first few seconds where she’s forming her first impression of you. Regardless of whether or not what you do in those few seconds is representative of who you are what you’ve done your entire life, it means squat if you turn her off on your first try. It’s almost guaranteed you won’t get a second one. To attract a woman, you first need that initial spark.

There are actually three aspects that need to be worked on to make sparking attraction all the more possible: your fashion sense and grooming, how you speak, and your ability to maintain eye contact. First impressions are everything, and how well you dress and groom yourself is a huge part of that. You’ll be surprised at just how much more positively women will start responding to you just by making better grooming and fashion choices. One especially helpful tip is to invest in a good pair of shoes that you can wear to different occasions. Andy Anderson of SocialChemistryOnline.com says:

“Women notice shoes more than anything else. So invest in a nice pair of stylish shoes. GO to Aldo or Nordstrom Rack to find some hot dress shoes with style and flair. In a recent survey women said all they wanted in a man were two things. For him to be NORMAL and to have nice shoes.”

The way you speak, and more specifically, how fast you speak can also impact how a woman perceives you. If you are as nervous as a mouse or are the energetic type that talks fast, you might have a little more difficulty coming off as charming and confident simply because of how fast you speak. Anderson recommends:

“The real trick is to speak slow as molasses. I mean half the speed you think you should be. There’s something VERY hypnotic, confident and calming about it. It sucks her in and makes her feel good.”

Finally, dating coaches always emphasize proper body language, but what’s even more important is your ability to maintain eye contact. Anderson says:

“When you interact with a woman look at her as if you’re saying “I love you,” without actually saying the words aloud. If you add a slight smirk or smile it becomes even more powerful. If you’re the type of guy that has darty eye contact and is looking all over the place, she will feel like you’re not paying attention to her and will turn off.”

Get the Conversation Going

Once the initial barrier has been overcome and she’s allowed you the pleasure of her company, the next thing on your to-do list is to let her get to know you. However, keep in mind that it isn’t a job interview. You’re not applying to be her date. In most aspects, you already are. From that point on, you’ll want to loosen up and talk to her like you want to have fun. No, not necessarily that kind of fun. Not yet, at least. EHarmony.com recommends:

“After the first “hello” moments of the date, feel free to take the usual conversation topics (careers, movies, whatever) and redirect the conversation in a way that creates FUN instead of TENSION and STIFFNESS. If she’s wearing something interesting, tease her gently about it. Ask her to hold the door for YOU. Tell her you’re tired of talking about your job…you’d rather talk about an ultra-cool experience you just had. Or (even better), one that SHE’S had.”

You’ll also want to avoid the usual conversation killers that make you sound needy. Don’t ask if she likes how the date is going so far. Don’t ask if she thinks you and her could hit it off. Worst of all, don’t ask directly if she likes you. Instead, let her know that you are interesting, aware, and genuinely curious about her.

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