Sex Toys in the Bedroom – Fun or Distraction?

Written by Dave Rich

On October 4, 2012

Sex toys or adult toys are items that create or enhance sexual pleasure. The most commonly used sex toys are vibrators, dildos, and ticklers. Many couples enjoy using adult toys to spice up their love life and get more excitement and enjoyment out of a long-term relationship. Using sex toys can give you and your partner a chance to explore hidden fantasies and take your passion to new heights. But adult toys can sometimes create a distraction in the bedroom.

Types of Adult Toys

There are about as many types of sex toys on the market as there are couples looking for them. If you’re new to the adult toy arena, let’s take a look at a few of the basics first:

  • Vibrators – Vibrators come in many different shapes, sizes, and speeds for women to use alone or with a partner. Vibrators are especially handy during sexual intercourse because they provide the clitoral stimulation that is sometimes lacking in certain sexual positions.
  • Dildos – Dildos are phallic-shaped objects that come in an incredible array of shapes, sizes, colors, and materials. They can be used alone or with a partner. Lesbian couples often use dildos to enhance their sex life and feel closer to their partner. Straight couples may use dildos as a part of foreplay or as a temporary solution to erectile dysfunction. Dildos can be made of glass, plastic, rubber, metal, latex, and hypoallergenic silicone.
  • Ticklers – Ticklers look like wands with feathers or other soft materials at the end. They are primarily used during foreplay where one partner gently rubs the soft end of the tickler along the bare skin of their lover. This provides a teasing sensation different from but not unlike the light touch of fingers.
  • Restraints – For the more adventurous couple, there are restraints. Handcuffs, scarves, and straps are all types of restraints you can use with your partner. Restraints enhance the feeling of “danger” and anticipation with a trusted partner. These types of adult toys can be used in conjunction with role-playing and other types of sexual fantasy games.
  • Penis Rings – Penis rings, also called “cock rings” are made to prevent premature ejaculation and improve erection quality. They are slipped on over the penis and sit at the shaft during sexual intercourse to slow blood flow. Cock rings, however, shouldn’t be left on for more than 20 minutes to prevent injury.

Now for the kinkier stuff:

  • Whips – For some couples, pleasure is pain. There’s something erotic about feeling the sting of a whip across bare skin just before you lover soothes the area with a kiss or a caress. Whips come in many different shapes and sizes from large to small and everything in between. For couples who think they might enjoy dominance and submission play, a whip could be fun to try out.
  • Floggers – Floggers are similar to whips but with multiple fronds for a firmer sensation. Unlike whips, which just touch part of the skin, floggers spread out over the body, allowing more pressure control.
  • Riding Crops – Now if you really want to bring on the pain, riding crops are for you. These adult toys are just what they sound like: They were originally designed to train horses!
  • Racks – When handcuffs are just not enough, a rack provides a full-body restraint system that leaves your partner completely and totally at your mercy.

Pros of Using Sex Toys

  1. Spice Things Up

The use of adult toys can really spice things up in the bedroom. If your love life has gotten a little routine, just the anticipation of trying out a new toy can bring that spark back pronto!

  1. Break Out of Your Shell

Sometimes you’re a little too shy to ask for what you want in bed. With sex toys, you can push your boundaries a little and achieve better sex without over-thinking it.

  1. Indulge Your Fantasies

Using sex toys gives you and your partner an opportunity to indulge those common sexual fetishes you may not have the guts to talk about out loud. With adult toys, you can get into fun role-playing games that will teach you more about your desires and limitations.

  1. Explore New Horizons

If you’ve ever thought the only way to heat things up in the bedroom was to try an open relationship, try some adult toys first. Have her put on a wig and speak in an accent. Tell him to pretend to be a peeping Tom in the back yard. Have fun with it. You and your partner should be able to do whatever you want in the bedroom so long as it’s consensual and comfortable for you both.

Cons of Using Adult Toys

  1. Dependence

One of the cons of using adult toys for better sex is dependence on them. This can mean either both parties no longer feel turned on unless using sex toys or engaging in role-play or one partner has become dependent on their use for sexual satisfaction. It gets even worse when one partner prefers the sex toy to you. If this happens, communicate. Find out what your partner is looking for in bed and really listen and understand his or her needs. Never be offended by sexual instruction. Your partner is just trying to enhance the experience for both of you.

  1. Distraction

Sometimes sex toys take the place of, rather than enhance the sexual relationship. Suddenly adult toys and pornography are all you and your partner are about. Not that there’s anything wrong with getting into it and even developing it as a hobby but too much use of adult toys can lead to distraction from the original romantic relationship.

  1. Allergic Reaction

One of the irritating things about some sex toys, especially vibrators and dildos is the risk of allergic reaction. If you have a latex or other chemical allergy, it’s important to purchase hypoallergenic products such as silicone, plastic or glass to avoid reaction. When it comes to lubricants, it’s best to stick to the basics. Flavored sexual lubricants can irritate delicate skin and cause allergic reaction. Try surgical lubricant instead.

  1. Physical or Emotional Harm

When it comes to kinky sex toys and bondage, there is a real risk for physical and/or emotional harm. If either partner was physically or sexually traumatized during childhood, memories of these incidents could surface during sexual play. Furthermore, restraints and penis rings can become too tight and cut off circulation. Always communicate about your wants, needs, and limitations to your partner before using adult toys and engaging in role play. It’s very important you’re both on the same page before you begin. Also, read the instructions on handcuffs and other types of restraints to avoid accidentally injuring your partner.

Where to Purchase Sex Toys

Since adult toys are a way for couples to enjoy better sex, there is no shortage of places to buy them. Do an Internet search to find stores in your area or, better yet, find your first or your next sex toy online. Most shops offer discreet shipping in plain packages to avoid embarrassment. There are plenty of shops to choose from. and are just two popular adult toy websites you can get started with!

When it comes to having better sex with your partner, adult toys can provide just the spark you need to heat things up again. Just remember to keep the lines of communication open and you’ll learn more about each other than you ever thought possible. Why just have vanilla when you can add a little swirl? Try something new tonight!

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