Despite what you might think, sexual fetishes are very common. When you have a sexual fetish, it means you derive sexual arousal or pleasure from stimulation that, by itself, is not sexual in nature. This could mean being aroused by shoes, leather, ears and anything in between.
Sexual fetishes are different from sexual fantasies as they are usual external and objective. A fantasy provides internal stimulation while fetishes provide external. Do any of these sexual fetishes sound familiar or interesting to you? What about your partner?
10 Common Sexual Fetishes
When you think of voyeurism, you might think of Norman Bates from Psycho. One of the most famous voyeurs in film history,Normanliked to watch women undress and shower…before murdering them. Of course, nobody is suggesting you do anything like that but some men find it stimulating to observe their partner showering, undressing or masturbating when she thinks he’s not looking.
Sadomasochism is another common sexual fetish. This can be anything from enjoying being slapped, whipped, bitten, clawed, bound, gagged or verbally degraded during the act of sex. In sadomasochism, pain heightens the sexual experience, which can bring consenting partners to new heights of ecstasy. This type of sex play usually involves the use of a safe word. Instead of “no” or “stop”, partners may choose a non-sexual word such as “blue” or “banana” to let the dominant partner know the intensity is too much and play needs to slow down or cease.
3. Tattoos & Piercings
Another common sexual fetish is tattoos and piercings. Someone will become sexually aroused by seeing or touching facial piercings such as nose rings, earrings, belly button rings, tongue rings, etc. or body tattoos, especially on or near erotic places. You may feel stimulated by running your fingers over a tattoo on your lover’s skin or just at the sight of a sex guy or girl strutting by with a decorated body.
In partialism, sexual arousal comes from seeing or touching individual body parts such as breasts, navels, ears or toes. There’s something about the shape, feel, and scent of these specific body part that drives someone with this type of sexual fetish to desire.
You may have heard of “chubby chasers”? A person with this type of sexual fetish enjoys the look and feel of extra pounds on their lover. They’re not looking for a supermodel. They like soft, supple skin they can sink into. On the flip side, some men and women prefer an extremely slender body and may even be attracted to bones they can see through the skin.
Let’s face it, ladies. There’s just something sexy about a hot guy in a leather jacket on the back of a motorcycle. There’s something that says, “I’m dangerous. I could hurt you. But I could also protect you.” If you’re attracted to the bad boys, you’re not alone. Women are hard-wired to select a mate who can keep them safe, provide good genes, and protect offspring. Plus, the feel of leather against naked skin can be extremely enticing!
Guys, do you like to see your lady in pumps, stilettos, and high heels? So do a lot of your buddies. A shoe fetish is very common among men and it can sometimes go together with a foot fetish. There’s something about the arch of the foot and the slightly wobbly helplessness of the way she walks in them that makes him want to skip that dinner date and head straight to bed!
Role-playing can fall under the realm of sexual fantasy or sexual fetish. In role-playing, partners may take on fictional roles from movies and books or engage in age or situation play. A common sexual fantasy, believe it or not, is rape. One partner may play the role of the innocent victim alone in the house while the other pretends to break in and overtake them.
Note: This type of play can be dangerous to sexual assault survivors so it is very important to talk about these types of sexual activities at length before going forward. Another common type of role-playing is pretending to be a vampire, werewolf, alien or other type of otherworldly creature. It may seem unusual, but role-playing can help increase sexual confidence and ease performance anxiety and other sexual hang-ups. After all, you’re “not really you” so you can really let go and get into it!
Cos-Play is short for “costume play” and is similar to role-playing but it goes a step further as it adds costumes to provide visual stimulation. In cos-play, your partner may dress as a cop, a naughty nurse or a schoolgirl. There is also a subset of people interested in cos-play called “furries”. Furries enjoy dressing up in anthropomorphic (animal with human qualities) costumes to provide a turn-on for their significant others.
Aniliagnia is just a fancy way to say you’re attracted to older people. This is also a very common sexual fetish. Something about a man or woman who is 10 or more years older than you may bring about feelings of security, experience, protection, and stable love. This doesn’t necessarily mean you actually want a “mommy” or “daddy” figure in your life but it could mean you may not have gotten this type of stability in childhood and may be seeking it out now.
If you thought your sexual fetishes or sexual fantasies were weird, maybe now you know you’re not alone. No matter what you’re into, if you and your partner are both consenting adults, it’s okay.
Speaking of sexual fetishes, how do you feel about Sex Toys in the Bedroom?